I've often been asked how life is living abroad and the best way to sum up the answer in one line is: different, but good. It took me a long time to get to this point, however. Living in a foreign speaking land is very different than traveling to a foreign land. The former is real, the latter is only temporary. Therefore your mindset is completely different. If you know you will never see people again you may act differently than if you know this will be your life for the next few years. Integration becomes important which means getting a job and meeting people. However, when you don't know the language that is the first step which will determine how life in your current land turns out. Marrying into the culture also has different implications. On the one hand you have the rest of your life to learn about the language and culture, and on the other hand you can't wait for the rest of your life to begin. There is also a subtle nudge from society and your loved ones to join in on the fun.
So onto Danish class I went, and in many ways it saved me during the first year. A new world opened up which in many ways I had no idea existed. I met many friends from foreign lands, all going through the same cultural pains. We were all highly educated and skilled people suddenly without a network or job and it felt like we were back in grade school again. But we embraced it and learned the language like it was our job. Slowly little things began to make sense and the daily hum started to become clear. Like the sun breaking through the clouds, which when living in Denmark, you begin to appreciate in an entirely new way. These bursts of sunshine are appreciated and celebrated in small ways. Asking for something in Danish and having the person understand you set the tone for the day. Soon all the weird and strange cultural differences start to make sense. Scandinavia may look the same as many western countries on the outside, but the tone on the inside is very different. It is humble and honest. Outspoken and educated. Debate is embraced and work-life balance is expected. Help is not offered, unless asked. Meals are meant to be enjoyed, not rushed. Friendships are not casual, they are life-time investments.
It wasn't until my second year in Denmark when I began studying at Copenhagen Business School and started working that I met and interacted with Danes on a daily basis. This changed my entire perspective and life experience. Work attire and attitude in general is much more casual and relaxed than in the US. Employees are expected to have an opinion and share it, not just go along with the decision. Education is much harder. Going to all the classes and reading all the material is no longer the requirement needed to do well in a class. The depth of understanding and level of analysis becomes the measure by which students are judged. Oral debate and discussion is part of the grade. In many ways, these working and learning experiences changed my entire outlook on Danish society which led to my greater understanding and appreciation of the culture. Which leads me to a something a Danish anthropologist once said: "You may not agree with the culture, but if you choose to live here, you should try to understand it."
