Friendsgiving

The first Thanksgiving in the U.S. is commonly traced back to 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusets as a celebration of food after harvest season. Whether it was between the Native Americans and Pilgrims as we were taught as children is up for debate, but it makes for a good story. The day we celebrate it today, the fourth Thursday in November, has roots tracing back to the first date proclamation made by President George Washington and another by Abraham Lincoln declaring all Americans celebrate it on the same day (Source: Wikipedia). 

As the U.S. is a melting pot of religions and cultures, Thanksgiving is the one non-denominational day of the year (besides the 4th of July) where every American has the day off to spend time with family and friends. For reasons unbeknownst to me, both days also include a parade, but that's a blog for another time. The Thanksgiving feast is typically centered around a turkey with various trimmings and side dishes depending on the family tradition. In the Midwest, we always have stuffing, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes and gravy. My sister-in-law who grew up near Louisville, Kentucky brought creamed corn and sweet potatoes into the mix. The day ends with family gathered around the TV to watch endless games of back to back football. 

When you are an American living outside of the U.S., Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that is hard to miss, so you do everything you can to recreate it in your present environment. Which often means, gathering close friends and cooking the traditional meal. Hence, the name for this post. This was my 2nd Thanksgiving outside of the U.S. and by far the closest to the real thing I could have ever asked for. My husband and I cooked a whole turkey and friends pitched in to make the side dishes and dessert. In the end we had enough food for 6 of us, left overs for several days, a feeling of being home, and above all, gratefulness that I could share this day with others just as excited about it as I was.

Beautiful Berlin

A few weeks ago my husband and I took our annual trip together, which happened to be to Berlin. We've decided this is our Christmas present to each other each year due to the fact that 1) we never really feel like we "need" anything and 2) the majority of our travel budget is spent on trips back to the U.S. to see family and friends. This allows us to see someplace new and slowly check off the long list of places in the world we would like to travel.

Apart from being mesmerized in its history, Berlin is a place of great beauty. I'm not just talking about the landscape or architecture, but more of the inner strength and colorfulness of the people. It felt very international to me, and at times American. I know that sounds crazy, but walking through the Mitte neighborhood where we stayed, there were times I swore I could have been in Chicago. The fact that they have Starbucks helped, but also the newness of the buildings and wideness of the streets definitely made me feel like I was on the other side of the Atlantic at times. Then I would see an old building next to a new one and I would remember how the city had to rebuild itself many times over the years.

The most emotional part of our trip was a visit to the Holocaust Memorial and the parts of the city where the Wall still stands. The American Embassy was right next to the memorial which reminded me of the role the country played in WWII. I have a suspicion its location was a strategic decision given it took nearly 17 years to complete the construction after many years of negotiating and planning. We found a path which symbolized where the Wall once stood and followed it to a part of the city where you can see it in its original form. After walking by the words "Why" and "Madness" spray painted into the Wall, you get a sense for how it must have felt to be living there at that time. A Visa was required to move from one side of the city to the other. This part of the city known as "Checkpoint Charlie" actually still has the original signs up, in addition to fake American soldiers standing guard (for the tourists of course).

One of my favorite parts of the trip however, was dinner at an authentic German restaurant with friends. Because I work for an international company and we have an office in Berlin, we met up with some locals for traditional schnitzel and cheese noodles, in a warm and friendly atmosphere. Afterwards we went to a hotel bar, which again reminded me of something we would do in Chicago. Whenever I travel, I prefer to go where the locals go, and do as the locals do. Just goes to show, no matter where in the world you live, some things remain the same.

What's the Bond Deal?

The whole James Bond fascination must be a European thing. The latest Bond movie has everyone I know in Denmark and throughout Europe talking about the movie with a sense of excitement you usually only see for major events like the Oscars or the World Cup. From opening night black tie attire to dinner plans to drinks, this movie has friends excitedly talking about when and how they plan to celebrate seeing the next Bond flick.

I tried to share in their excitement (to be polite of course) but kept asking myself inside the entire time they were talking, what the big deal was? In the U.S. the Bond movies are legendary as well, but for me they are more nostalgic than anything else. Like listening to Frank Sinatra, or going to a great steak house. Looking back at when the series began that makes sense, as the first movie was aired in 1954.

I am certainly not against seeing the Bond movies, but honestly can't remember the last time I saw one. I remember Madonna releasing a song for the 'Die Another Day' movie but that was circa 2002. The Bond actors that come to mind for me are Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan, but of course there are many more. Ask any Bond fan and they are sure to utter off the actor's names as easily as their children's names. 58 years and nine Bond actors later, Daniel Craig seems to have resurrected the series from old school charm to current day action.

How do I know that? Because when I was invited to see the movie with my favorite British friend, I of course accepted the invitation succumbing to the excitement of it all (for research purposes, obviously). When in Rome, do as the Romans do, right?

Football Politics

I was living in Chicago during the last American Presidential election. It was 2008 and Tobias and I were still dating. I remember him waking up with me early in the morning so I could be one of the first in line to vote at the church around the corner from my building. Later that night we celebrated the historical victory with friends and champagne. We could hear the cheers from Grant Park, nearly 2 miles away, when Obama took the stage to accept the Presidency. It was an incredible evening. 

Six months later I moved to Denmark.

I have been gone for the majority of Obama's Presidency in the U.S. and have only seen progress or discontent through the eyes of the Danish media, my American friends' Facebook posts, and discussions with family back home. When the Affordable Health Care Act was passed, it was deemed a success when talking to friends and colleagues in Denmark. This of course was coming from a place where there is a good public health system, and a private option as well, functioning side by side. It is also coming from a mindset where people are happy to take care of others and health care is a human right, not a personal responsibility. In terms of foreign policy and approach, the Obama administration has made being an American living abroad a pleasant experience. Not like when Bush was in office and most Americans claimed they were Canadians whenever they traveled abroad, to eliminate the uncomfortable dialogue and scary anger felt towards the U.S. at the time.

Despite my lack of physical presence in the country of my birth during the past 3.5 years, I have still been able to follow Obama's successes and losses (for the most part) due to Denmark's global news focus and interest in American politics. It has actually surprised me how much the majority of Danes identify with the U.S. in terms of language and culture versus England, who is their next door neighbor. This fascination with American culture has enabled some great conversations allowing me to elaborate on my country's politics and reflect a little bit as well. One thing that strikes me as needing an immediate modification is the limitation of a 2 party political system, who's ideals are too far apart to make any real progress in 4 or 8 years, depending on which party is currently in office. This creates a football politics situation where two parties are too busy fighting with each other or winning the office, that no real progress is ever made. Any time one party is in office, it seems to be the goal of the other party to get them out of office as quickly as possible. As long as they continue to go back and forth tearing down what the other party implemented, no real progress is ever going to be made.

In Denmark there are 9 political parties. In the U.K. there are now 3 strong parties. In Germany there are 2 major parties and 3 minor parties and in France it is a multi-party system as well. I am not saying the U.S. needs to look to Europe for guidance in any way. I have just found myself trying to answer the baffled looks as to why the system is the way it is in the U.S., more than once. Believe me, I refer to the online version of Wikipedia, as well as the human version (also known as my husband) a lot when this happens.

Danish Weddings

I've been to three Danish weddings since moving to Denmark in 2009, four if you count my own which was a little bit like baptism by fire, as we say in the U.S. of A. The Danes have many traditions when it comes to weddings and I was fortunate enough to discover many of them for the first time not as a guest, but as the bride in my own wedding. The first tradition being when the bride or groom leaves the room. Depending on who leaves first, determines who gets a chance to kiss the bride or groom first. My husband happened to be the first to step away from the room when we were married and before I knew what was happening, swarms of men were coming at me. My husband's friends Bjørn and Anne witnessed the fear on my face in those first moments of husband and wife in our new life of what was soon to be the first of many Danish traditions I would come to learn and enjoy. Last weekend we had the pleasure of celebrating Bjørn and Anne's union on the island of Møn, the same place we had exchanged our vows three years ago. Except this time it was nice to be the guest and participant instead of on the receiving end of the tradition.

In Denmark the wedding festivities begin for both bride and groom with a bachelor/bachelorette or stag/hen party, as we call them in the U.S. and UK. Except in Denmark the party is called a polterabend for both guys and girls. The word is German and although 'abend' means night, the event lasts all day long. Unlike in the U.S. where the party date is typically known and decided by the bride and groom, in Denmark both parties are surprised by friends the day of the event and expected to pack attire often in a moment's notice. Day activities can be anywhere from paintball to climbing trees to go-kart racing or fencing to making cd's and wine tasting. Breakfast and/or lunch is also planned to break up the day activities before dinner and the evening events begin. As in customary, drinking is usually involved from beginning to end.

Which brings me back to the wedding. A toast master is often assigned and this person's task is to coordinate all the speeches and toasts throughout the dinner, which in Denmark can last anywhere from 4-6 hours. Bjørn and Anne had 9 speeches in total, and almost missed the couple's first dance which is typically the Waltz. This needs to be done before midnight the day of the wedding or they will have bad luck (or so the tradition/superstition goes). While the couple dances, the guests circle and close in around them until the groom is lifted up above the crowd, so his friends can take off his shoes and cut the tips of his socks off. This is believed to symbolize the change in status of a man from single to married. Strange? Perhaps. But there are also some really great traditions. Like enjoying cake and champagne immediately after the ceremony. After all, why should one wait?

No matter the country or tradition, nothing compares to celebrating the union of good friends and couples who attended your very own wedding. This summer alone I was lucky enough to be the guest of three weddings and one baptism (and counting...)!

The Office

I've been full-time for three weeks now and there are some things about working in a Danish office environment that are very different from an American one. In ode to the British and American TV Show, I thought I'd take the opportunity to share them here. First of all, working in an office in Denmark is just as much about your personality, your interests, and who you are as a person, as it is about your professional or technical skills. The Danish word "hygge" comes to mind here. The Danes like to create a cozy environment at all times, and there are many social occasions or rituals in the office throughout the week where personality becomes a factor.

The first being daily lunch. In a typical office environment food is provided or catered in, and all employees contribute financially to it out of their paychecks. It is served at 12pm every day and it is a group event. No running out to grab lunch, or bringing in food from home. In the US it would be very normal to sit at your desk and go online during lunch, or continue to work while you eat. In DK everyone sits down together and has interesting conversation about work, personal interests, or whatever current events are happening in the world. My experience as one of the few American employees in the office, is as the "official sponsor" for my country. Meaning, whenever there is something happening in the world where the US has had some sort of involvement, you will be asked your opinion or viewpoint "from the American people." This has taught me to pay attention to current events, for which I can thank my news junkie of a husband!

The second very social event of the week is the Friday breakfast. Every Friday morning Danes all across the country go to their local Baker before work to pick up fresh bread and pastries. Typically beginning at 9am or shortly thereafter, everyone gathers to have breakfast together. Juice, coffee, bread, cheese, marmalade, butter and nutella are common items served, and sometimes some pastries are also offered. This is also where I became addicted to the very Danish breakfast concoction of bread, butter, cheese, and marmalade on top. (Don't knock it until you try it!) It is nearly impossible for me to just have plain old bread with butter anymore, especially when cheese and marmalade are involved. At Friday breakfast, we usually catch up from the events of the week or talk about weekend plans, another very social event. Some Fridays in the offices across Denmark are officially finished off with a Friday bar, or drinks in the office typically beginning at 3pm. So with breakfast, lunch, and happy hour on Fridays, that makes for approximately 4 hours to get your work done that day. Not bad!

Besides lunch and breakfast, another lovely habit I have come to enjoy is the communal fruit basket. Danes have a high focus on health and instead of a vending machine packed with sugar and salt filled snacks, fresh fruit and vegetables are replenished every Monday morning for employees to snack on throughout the week, free of charge. However, a not so healthy habit that I have picked up on is the daily dose of insane amounts of coffee. I went from only having one cup of coffee in the morning in the US (usually brought to work from Starbucks or Corner Bakery) in addition to an afternoon tea, to having one cup of coffee at home in the morning and another at the office when I get in, to a mid-afternoon coffee (usually decaf or black tea) to a final cup of coffee in the evenings (always decaf) in Denmark. I partly blame that on the cold and damp weather but I would be lying if I didn't also say there was a social factor involved that began with my husband's parents. There is not an evening coffee event to this day where they don't have a bottle of Bailey's nearby so I can enjoy that in my coffee, and therefore consider it a more of a nightcap. One wouldn't want to disrupt their sleep by having caffeine after 3pm! A family joke of which I have often (and happily) bore the the brunt.

Which brings me to my final point. A sense of humor (or humour) is another key ingredient to living and working in Denmark. The Danes have an odd sense of humor at times, but one that I have come to thoroughly enjoy. They love to laugh and in general have a good time whether they are at work or play. Hygge is not such a bad thing after all. Even though in the US it could 'officially' never be allowed to be a selection criteria.

Back to Reality

This past Monday reality set in as I began working a full-time job again. Since May, 2009 my life has been a series of adjustments given my new status as an expat. I went through a period of several months after first arriving in Denmark where I didn't know what the future held for me in this foreign land. However, all signs pointed towards learning the language. Not only so I could understand the world around me, my temporary residency and/or immigration contract pretty much required language lessons before I could be considered a permanent resident. Despite the rules, I wanted to learn the language as I had married into the culture and wanted to be able to speak to my Danish family one day. After 6 months of looking for work in Denmark, I quickly realized the fact that not having my Masters or the ability to speak the native language were two strikes against me, preventing me from finding work and/or being just as successful in Denmark as I had been in the United States. So Danish lessons began and so did the application process for business school.

Three years later, I have worked hard to 'level the playing field' between Denmark and the US when it comes to career and the enjoyment of everyday life in general. I can understand approximately 80-90% of what is spoken and can make my way through most social situations. In-depth conversations and/or work concepts are still difficult but I know once I take the final fifth module in Danish that will only get easier. I received my Masters in Economics and Business Administration which I've been told lies somewhere between an MBA and a PhD in the US. I'm not the sort of person that brags, but I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish. However, despite my hard work the current employment economy is hard for the average Dane to find work just graduating from university, not to mention a foreigner. What I didn't anticipate post graduate degree, was that I might be considered just another recent graduate, versus an experienced professional with over 10 years experience on top of her recent education.

So while I was lucky enough to find full-time work, the level of success in terms of my career in Denmark remains to be seen. Recent conversations and other expat experiences have given me the impression that the language barrier will continue to be an issue and while organizationally the flat hierarchy of the Scandinavian culture makes for a 'cozy' work environment, financial success may be harder to achieve for an experienced professional. However, the jury is still out on that last statement as I know several Danes that would attest to financial success being greater for them in Denmark versus other countries. The only conclusion I can make from that is when it comes to developed countries in general, citizens may always have a greater impression of perceived success in their native land. The reality could in fact be very different. On the other hand, perhaps it all comes down to how you define success.

Endless Summer

A month and two weeks since my last post can only mean two things. I have been busy enough not to be in front of the computer every day, and enjoying the Summer schedule and weather. All of which are good excuses to have. However, for those family and friends that keep up on my life in Denmark, here is a recap of events from the other side of the pond.

The Summer was kicked off by a trip to visit friends and family and enjoy the 30+ degree Celsius or 90+ degree Fahrenheit weather in the States. My good friend Lori was married on June 23rd and the opportunity to be involved in her wedding was an honor I will always treasure. After reconnecting with mates in Chicago, I made the trek to Wisconsin to see my sister, little nephews, and girlfriends from high school. No matter how many years or months pass, making the time to see each other on these trips back are priceless. My heart aches with each goodbye but I know it is only temporary.

Less than 24 hours after I landed back in DK in July I defended my thesis and officially ended my graduate education receiving a 10. In US terms that would be an A or AB depending on the grading scale so I am very happy to not only have delivered an 80 page paper worth reading, but to have written it on a topic I find extremely interesting and relevant. It focused on sustainability and innovation, combining personal interest with academic research. My Danish family and good friend Beth were there to congratulate me on the final result and enjoy champagne, kransekage (small Danish cookies made with marzipan) and a celebratory dinner at a local restaurant.

Two days later my brother and sister-in-law arrived from the States to enjoy 10 days in Denmark with me and my husband. This was a first trip to Europe for my brother and one that my sister-in-law and I were determined to make special. Our time was spent enjoying canal tours, castle trips, cliff hikes, Danish in-laws, and sightseeing in beautiful Skagen. The trip to Frederiksborg Slot was truly an experience, enough to make it my favorite castle in Denmark. Not sure if it was the good company or the beautiful weather and scenery, but probably all of the above. While visiting my in-laws on the island of Møn, I think my family was overwhelmed at the hospitality not to mention the length of time and amount of food served during a traditional dinner feast in Denmark, which made that a fun memory as well. However, my favorite experience of this Summer by far was witnessing the beauty of Skagen.

I have wanted to go to the northern most point of Denmark since I arrived just over three years ago, so when my family decided to spend their entire 10 days in Europe, in Denmark, I jumped at the chance to take them there as well. It's a 6 hour drive from southern Denmark on a good day of traffic, but the trip is worth every kilometer. Painters and artists are known to have traveled to Skagen due to the light and colors it evokes. Tourists, myself included, travel to Grenen to witness the waters of two oceans collide. I will never forget the walk. The beauty of the sky and ocean blending into one, and the refreshing air and soft sandy beaches were enough to actually bring me to tears. It was a sight to see and a location to experience for anyone willing to make the 9 hour flight and 6 hour drive.

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered!

On May 31, 2012 I completed my graduate education at Copenhagen Business School. I handed in my Master thesis one day ahead of schedule completing 5 months of research and writing. I technically had until August 27th to hand in the thesis per my contract, but due to travel plans and visitors, I worked ahead so I could enjoy the Summer. The plan was to be done before travels began in June however, CBS had other plans for me.

In Denmark the written paper is not enough, every Master student needs to orally defend their thesis in front of an advisor and a censor. This way of testing begins at a very early age in Denmark and is done for two reasons. Due to the fact that many projects and papers are done in groups, the oral exam verifies whether individual students actually put in the work. It also tests a student's proficiency and knowledge on the topic. Even though I wrote my thesis alone, this test will still be done. If I can anticipate this experience based on past ones, it usually ends up being an intellectual conversation about the topic. One censor even said that their overall goal is to make our last day/experience at CBS a good one. That doesn't mean it will be any less anxiety ridden, given it is the final grade I will receive and count as an entire semester. However, I'm hoping after my vacation in the States I will be relaxed and at peace with whatever the outcome is.

The presentation is already prepared (as my oral exam was supposed to be yesterday) so I have decided to put it out of my mind over the next two weeks. I was told in January that if I handed in my thesis by June 1st it would be possible to be done early, but the rules state that the oral defense date and search for a censor cannot be made prior to hand-in of the thesis. I've lived in Denmark long enough to know that rules are rarely, if ever bent. My advisor is not the normal Dane which means he was willing to work with me, but unfortunately the person in charge of finding the censor is like the majority of Danes. However disappointed I am in the administration, it is almost fitting that I will be leaving CBS the same way I came in. I am just grateful the academic program is so strong.

Different but Good

I've often been asked how life is living abroad and the best way to sum up the answer in one line is: different, but good. It took me a long time to get to this point, however. Living in a foreign speaking land is very different than traveling to a foreign land. The former is real, the latter is only temporary. Therefore your mindset is completely different. If you know you will never see people again you may act differently than if you know this will be your life for the next few years. Integration becomes important which means getting a job and meeting people. However, when you don't know the language that is the first step which will determine how life in your current land turns out. Marrying into the culture also has different implications. On the one hand you have the rest of your life to learn about the language and culture, and on the other hand you can't wait for the rest of your life to begin. There is also a subtle nudge from society and your loved ones to join in on the fun.

So onto Danish class I went, and in many ways it saved me during the first year. A new world opened up which in many ways I had no idea existed. I met many friends from foreign lands, all going through the same cultural pains. We were all highly educated and skilled people suddenly without a network or job and it felt like we were back in grade school again. But we embraced it and learned the language like it was our job. Slowly little things began to make sense and the daily hum started to become clear. Like the sun breaking through the clouds, which when living in Denmark, you begin to appreciate in an entirely new way. These bursts of sunshine are appreciated and celebrated in small ways. Asking for something in Danish and having the person understand you set the tone for the day. Soon all the weird and strange cultural differences start to make sense. Scandinavia may look the same as many western countries on the outside, but the tone on the inside is very different. It is humble and honest. Outspoken and educated. Debate is embraced and work-life balance is expected. Help is not offered, unless asked. Meals are meant to be enjoyed, not rushed. Friendships are not casual, they are life-time investments.

It wasn't until my second year in Denmark when I began studying at Copenhagen Business School and started working that I met and interacted with Danes on a daily basis. This changed my entire perspective and life experience. Work attire and attitude in general is much more casual and relaxed than in the US. Employees are expected to have an opinion and share it, not just go along with the decision. Education is much harder. Going to all the classes and reading all the material is no longer the requirement needed to do well in a class. The depth of understanding and level of analysis becomes the measure by which students are judged. Oral debate and discussion is part of the grade. In many ways, these working and learning experiences changed my entire outlook on Danish society which led to my greater understanding and appreciation of the culture. Which leads me to a something a Danish anthropologist once said: "You may not agree with the culture, but if you choose to live here, you should try to understand it."

The Home Stretch

I have entered the final stages of the Master Thesis process. That means case company interviews are nearly finished, with the final one scheduled this week. Transcriptions are almost done, which means for each 30 minutes of interview the result has been 3-4 hours of reiterating verbatim what was said via a word summary. I have done this six times, and have two final summaries to write.Transcriptions are written so the research can be dissected and analyzed and compared with theory, ultimately providing the direction and conclusion of the thesis.

Three sections of the thesis have been written, leaving two major sections and two summary sections left before I hand it in on June 1st, completing my business school education. If my calculations are correct, that would involve writing approximately one section per week in May, leaving the last week for final edits and review of the paper. The findings, analysis, conclusion, perspectives and an executive summary are all that remain. This is where things start to get interesting and my personal favorite part of the process. Where you start to make sense of everything you have gathered. Categorizing the data, matching theory with practice, noticing the gaps, identifying the patterns, or creating new theory or recommendations for further research.

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I am the type of person who has always tried to make sense of my environment, or experiences, comparing reality with expectations, and coming up with recommendations for the future. How to cope, how to create the reality you want, how to be a better person, how to get in shape, whatever it may be. This has been done mostly through discussions with friends or by writing ideas down. Although, I have always been a writer at heart. Writing allows you to take the time to think, reflect, communicate what you are really trying to say, in a thoughtful and meaningful way. Too many people just talk without thinking and for those who are able to think and talk strategically on their feet, I salute. That is a gift in its own right.

Inspiration for ideas comes in many forms. Sometimes it is enabled through discussion, other times it is facilitated through quiet reflection, and most times it is a combination of both. Working in projects, like is the norm at Copenhagen Business School and the Danish education system in general, has allowed me to put my idea generation and professional project management experience to use. No all-nighters were necessary and each project was delivered on time, or ahead of schedule. My education has enabled me to utilize my writing skills and strengthen my presentation skills as each project, including the master thesis, needs to be orally defended. Something I will take with me into my professional career for years to come. The home stretch is here. Where it will lead, is anyone's guess - but the future is certainly looking bright.

The Master Thesis Process

Since January I have been concentrating on the final stage of my Master education. The Master thesis writing process. It is a 70-120 page paper that represents a graduate student's skills for research, critical thinking, and analysis on a topic of their choice. Often times, companies have a problem they would like investigated or professors have identified an area needing more research, which graduate students are welcome to write about. Other times, it is a chance for the student to dig into their passion and interests for six months to hopefully shed some light on a current topic or business challenge. Some grad students pair up to write the thesis together to add discourse and depth to the topic at hand. Others choose to write alone to test their skills or meet a tight deadline. I have chosen the latter route on both accounts.

I have decided to write about something I am passionate about on a personal level in order to potentially explore the professional opportunities later on in life. Additionally, I am using this opportunity to test my research and writing skills, both of which I have always enjoyed. My first article was published in the local paper at age 11. While I was receiving my Bachelor's education at the University of Wisconsin-Madison in the States, Professors would ask whether they could use my papers as examples for future students. Once I started working, I naturally ended up in Marketing where there were lots of writing and communicating opportunities. First on proposals or presentations, later on websites and blogs. However, it wasn't until I moved to Denmark and started my Master's education at Copenhagen Business School that the true test of my writing and discourse began.

Receiving an education in Denmark is not like anything I have ever experienced in the U.S. The level of learning, depth of discussion, and preparation for argumentation and oral presentation that students are expected to have truly prepares them for holding their own with senior members of any organization. Experiencing this during my final stage of education is something I am truly and entirely grateful for, as I know this is pushing me to expand my abilities beyond anything I could have done on my own. Culture plays a big role in the education system in Denmark where a flat organization and group decisions are common practice in the business world. In this type of an environment, senior leaders want to hear employee's thoughts, and employees are expected and (thankfully) prepared to eloquently share them using the appropriate strategic or management terms. Quite the opposite in America where a fighting spirit, hard work, and (sometimes, but not always) a higher education is all that is required for success. Otherwise known, and typically admired throughout the world as "The American Dream." In most cases, a Bachelor degree is all that is needed in the U.S. to ensure professional success. However, a Master degree is an absolute requirement to be successful in a knowledge economy like Denmark.

In both cultures, having a good network and knowing the right people are needed to get your foot in the door professionally. Once in the door however, it remains to be seen whether knowing the right people is still a qualification required for getting a seat at the table, or whether having an additional level of academic skill is the secret ingredient to ensure an upward mobile path (if that is your determinant for success). For me, finding a job that does not feel like work is the ultimate goal. Merging passion and skill, and adding value to an organization and/or society is key. The best way I can describe what I hope to achieve professionally is otherwise known as the "state of flow" in theory. Where loss of time and consciousness occurs because you are so emerged in something that is the right mix of challenge and skill, intrigue and interest, keeping you coming back for more, or looking forward to the work day ahead. First thing's first. Right now I just need to make it through the thesis process and cross my fingers the writing flows over the next few months. Apologies if this means my blog posts are even more spread out, but at this moment in time it's about the destination. I just hope I will enjoy the journey!

Empire State of Mind

Two of my closest girlfriends and I were fortunate enough to meet in New York for a weekend of laughs and quality catch up time. They came from Chicago, and me from Copenhagen. The reason for the trip was to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of my friend Lori in June and the inspiration was an opportunity to go wedding dress shopping at Kleinfeld Bridal. The wedding dress boutique with one of the largest selections of couture dresses, also known by the TLC show, "Say Yes to the Dress!" That was merely the excuse. The rest of the weekend was a tribute to classic New York.

We kicked off the weekend with brunch at a local diner for a quick catch up on family, jobs, and life in general and then the shopping began. We walked Fifth Avenue, stopped by Rockefeller Center, visited Saint Patricks Cathedral, and took a picture with the Atlas or the "30 Rock statue." Our first official wedding event, or the 'Bridal Shower' was high tea at the Russian Tea Room, and it was worth all the pomp and circumstance. Endless tea served with three tiered trays of blinis and desserts accompanied by champagne and complementary shots of vodka. What's not to like? (Ok, the vodka was perhaps a bit much, but "When in Rome!")

Next was the 'Bachelorette Party' at Buddhakan. The scene of the first SATC movie rehearsal dinner. The food was phenom, and the location amazing. Although we weren't seated in the famous dining room downstairs, the ambiance and service in addition to quality of the meal is definitely worth a return trip. Afterwards we kicked up our heels at Hotel Gansevoort. There was a fun vibe, and great music, topped off by a Whitney Houston mashup that was very apropo for the timing of our trip.

Soon it was Saturday, and the "reason" we were in New York. The day of the dress! But first, we had brunch at one of my all-time favorite places in New York city, Pastis in the Meatpacking District. Even though I did not make the best brunch selection (just say no to Eggs Hubbard, go for Benedict instead) I would go back again and again and again. The vibe, the style, the people, the service, all very New York with a French twist. Très chic! After brunch we took a stroll through the best part of Manhattan. The neighborhoods of Greenwich Village, Soho, Noho, Grammercy Park, and the list goes on. Such cute tree lined, brownstone walk up, cafe corner streets that one could spend hours in. And that is just what we did, until it was time for Kleinfeld's. 

Soon Lori said yes to the dress which was the icing on the cake of a pretty spectacular weekend already. But we saved the best for last. Sunday brunch at the Plaza. It was everything you think it is going to be from the doormen that swoop in to take your bag and open the door, to the Sicilian waiter who has lived in New York for the past 30 years. I opted to have a Plaza classic instead of my healthy egg white frittata and was not disappointed. The lobster and waffles topped with caviar was worth every single calorie! As was the luxurious transatlantic weekend in NYC to make some unforgettable memories. 

Culture of Trust

One of the things I have come to truly appreciate about Danish culture is how trusting the people are. In their government, fellow citizens, and even strangers on the street. I remember listening to a speech from a well known anthropologist in Denmark about this phenomenon known to be common in countries with larger welfare societies, like Scandinavia. In this part of the world, there is concern for society as a whole, corruption in government is low, and people follow the rules. I remember the last line of his speech (which covered many other Danish quirks) like it was yesterday:  "You may not understand the culture, but if you live here, you should try to respect it."

It's hard not to respect a culture where babies are left outside to sleep in their prams, and parents let their little ones take the bus, train, or bike to school on their own. Where you can have a girls night out in the city, and not feel scared to walk home alone if it gets a little later than you expected to stay out. But my favorite little sign of trust has to be the missing items left exactly where they are found on the street. Or perhaps picked up and propped on something more at eye level, so the person who lost it can find it again when they retrace their steps.

Like the glove shown in this photo. I was getting off the Metro one day and saw it and it made me smile. Just like the graffiti that was once perceived as a sign of an unsafe and rough neighborhood when I first moved to Copenhagen has now become a form 'city art' in my mind. Each time I see a missing item laying on a bush, bench, or ledge I don't think it's odd or strange, but see it as a reminder that I am living in one of the most trusting societies in the world. And that little piece of knowledge is comforting.

For the Love of Eurovision

As the years go by in Denmark, my monthly blogs get less and less frequent. That's to be expected due to the fact that what was once new has now become an ordinary part of everyday life. However, there are still those moments that suddenly strike me as extraordinarily different, or very European, not that they are necessarily one in the same. Either way, the Eurovision Song Contest is one of those moments for me.

I remember the first time I experienced it with my husband two years ago. I could tell by how excited he got when he was explaining what it was all about. It was one of those growing up experiences that is so ingrained in a person's past that they almost can't believe you have no idea what they are talking about. Those moments literally feel like an out of the body experience because you thought there was everything to know about this person, and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, a completely new world opens up that you had no prior knowledge about. 

The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual contest where countries from all over Europe compete for the best song. Sort of like American Idol, if each State was represented, and it only happened one time per year. As the legend goes, ABBA became famous after winning this contest in 1974, so some winners do make it outside of Europe. But first, each individual country needs to select their winner for best song so they can go on to compete against all other European countries. Denmark's annual song contest in order to select their Eurovision contender is called Melodi Grand Prix and it was on TV this past weekend. 

People from all over Denmark (and some representing European countries) vote for their favorite Danish singer to represent them to the rest of Europe. The style of song is anywhere from traditional music in the local language, to pop music sung in English, to alternative, to really, really weird (as the picture on this blog shows). Fortunately, this year's winner was my favorite. Her name is Soluna Samay and she reminds me of a Danish Sheryl Crow. It was just her and her guitar, with great backup singers, and set, but the best part of the story is that she was a street singer just two years ago. To me, the song and all of the singers, represent urban Copenhagen. The style, the chill vibe, and the matter of fact way of just being. 

Check it out for yourself: Should've Known Better by Soluna Samay 

New Year, Old Friends

For as long as I can remember, New Years Eve has been an exciting and festive occasion each year. Of course I am talking about the years when I wasn't single and anxious about where to go, what to do, and who I would kiss at midnight. What I figured out long ago was that New Years is a time to be with those you love. Old friends, new family members, current boyfriends, whoever!

If I recount the past 5 years, they were spent with pretty much the same people year after year. All of whom have been a part of my life for many years, and this year is no exception. I met my friend Beth in a Copenhagen café in November of 2009 and both of us knew without even speaking that we would be very good friends. Our lives and loves had put us in the same place, and pretty much on the same timeline, that would seal our fate as friends for many years to come.

When you marry a Dane and decide to live in their country, there are many things about the life you once had that you will miss, while you learn to let go of the past so a new life and future can begin to take shape. Those are the moments when you need a friend to confide in. It can be confusing to learn new customs and culture, and frustrating as hell to learn a new language that does not sound the way it is spelled. Those are also the times when you need a friend to relate to what you are going through. That was the role Beth and I played for each other.

Besides being hippies at heart, and loving live music, wine, gossip magazines, and painting our nails, we embraced each others differences and helped one another through the dark and dreary days in Denmark. Sometimes all you need is someone to listen, even if they don't understand. But most of the time, we understood each other perfectly, or at least were able to put ourselves in the other person's shoes which is priceless and irreplaceable. Of which, I will be forever grateful.

While our lives have now taken on different paths, Beth back in the US, me still in Denmark, we now make time for our chats via email, Skype, and in person visits whenever possible. Like the two weeks she was back in DK for Christmas and New Years. We assumed the same routine of long talks, TV show updates, and taking turns being good (healthy lunch) and naughty (liquid lunch). Even though I miss her daily presence in DK dearly, I know there are more exciting visits in our future. That's the thing about new old friends.

"After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away."
Carrie Bradshaw