The Stare Down

I went on and on about my fabulous new cykel in my last blog, and now that I've gotten the hang of it, I truly enjoy it. But because I'm an American and I refuse to ride it in the rain, I spend most of my days taking public transportation. That's just a fact of living in Denmark.

While on the train, or bus, or wherever, you begin to notice a lot of things. Human behavioral type things. One, is that no one says "Excuse me" when they get up, sit down, or push you around. Two, is that people stare. Especially if you don't fit the 'norm.'

I thought it was just me, but my husband has started to notice it as well. In the US, we're told as children that "Staring is rude" so naturally we don't do it. If someone stares at you for an odd amount of time, chances are A) they think you're attractive or B) they may have a few screws loose upstairs.

However, if it becomes uncomfortable, all you need to do is stare at them back and they will snap back into reality and look away. Not in Denmark! That human behavioral register doesn't exist here. I've tried it. All you get is a really uncomfortable stare down...and then more stares.

Easy Rider

It's Spring and I decided that I will join the gangs of other bicyclers on the Copenhagen bike paths and start riding my brand spankin' new cykel to Danish class...hver dag!

First of all, just writing this sentence gave me butterflies in my stomach because the bikers here are no joke. They are serious, experienced, 'been riding their bike everyday' people since they were like 5 years old. (Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but still. A long time).

It's also been a long time since I've ridden a bike. Now, I would hop on one every now and then during vacations over the years but the last time I seriously used it for a mode of transportation was when I rode my ten-speed to the swimming pool during summer back in high school. Yep, that long ago.

So I'm easing into it. Got the bike, next up is the helmet. That was a promise to the husband and one I'll gladly oblige since my first spin around the lake in our neighborhood was a bit shaky. Almost wiped out trying to jump a curb when I realized I had turned into a bike path...going the wrong way. It was the exact same feeling you have when you turn down a one way street driving a car.

All I have to say is this. Whoever coined the phrase: "It's just like riding a bike" must have always ridden one. Or maybe after a 2nd and 3rd trip I'll get the hang of it and then the point is moot. After all, my helmet's just too cute to waste!

Beautiful Barcelona

My husband and I just visited Barcelona and were overcome with how gorgeous it was. Architecturally, we knew Gaudi was going to be impressive, but we were not prepared for the everyday beauty of ordinary buildings. It makes the city feel like a walking museum.

One of the first things I noticed (besides the buildings) was that motor bikes are as common in Barcelona as bicycles are in Copenhagen. People smoke more, it's still allowed inside restaurants and bars, and the food is small but very fatty. Our modest Danish systems were shocked into vacation mode after the burst of flavors of our first tapas dinner.

There are two differences I noticed that were my favorites. One is that they eat really late. I prefer our 7pm Danish dinner time to the 10pm Spanish time to be honest, but what makes this one of my favorite things is the fact that 6 or 7pm is still considered "the afternoon" in Spain. Even the ATM's say: "Buenas Tardes!"

My favorite experience of all though was how warm the Spanish people were. They don't speak a lot of English but that doesn't necessarily matter to them. They will continue to talk to you in Spanish thinking that somehow you will magically understand them. What ends up happening is a lot of funny moments and shared laughter after "deer in the headlight" stares. Embarrassing at first, but endearing in the end.

Friends

The longer I live in Denmark, the more I am fascinated by the affect the American TV show Friends has on the global population. Especially for those that want to learn how to speak English.

When I met my husband I thought it was cute that he knew all of the Friends shows by heart and referenced them frequently in real life situations, similar to the way me and my girls do with Sex and the City. However, the more people I meet in Copenhagen, the more I am told how Friends helped them learn English. More importantly, Friends made them WANT to learn English.

This takes the show to a whole new level. Not only are Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey beloved because they made us in the US laugh at them and in turn ourselves, but they inspire non speakers to actually want to learn to speak their language. Now that's what I call a global phenomenon.

Where is the Love?

Most of my Danish experiences over the past 10 months have been positive but one that simply continues to boggle my mind is the lack of public courtesy. For the most part I have found the Danes to be extremely kind people, but you would never know that when you are out in public with them.

I talked about this a little in my "Ode to the US of A" post in January, but it continues to be the most pressing question and noticed characteristic of Danish people amongst foreigners and/or the people I see everyday in Danish class. We are a class of approximately 15 people from all corners of the world so our different cultures are discussed on a regular basis.

Why can't the Danes just say "Excuse me" or "Undskyld"? ... is the question asked over and over again. The reason this is asked, is because you will rarely get an acknowledgement that anything ever happened if you get bumped on the street, metro, bus, wherever. You will simply get pushed out of the way with complete disregard.

One theory is that this change in public courtesy happened 50 years ago when the formal use of "you" or "De" was mostly removed from the Danish language which only left the informal "du." Public perspective changed and a flat hierarchy was incorporated. Everyone was equal and treated the same. Instead of treating everyone with respect, which is what happens in most cultures, the Danes decided to do the opposite.

My theory is based around the fact that "hygge" is such a big part of Danish daily lives, that things left unsaid in the name of "keeping it cozy" fester over time. Naturally, those emotions need to come out somehow. Unfortunately, the victims are perfect strangers. Or maybe I'm just over analyzing it. This, quite honestly wouldn't be the first time! After all, they call this Viking country for a reason.

The L is a 3 Letter Word

My last visit to Chicago was more than just a cozy visit down memory lane, it was the first time I looked at the city through EU eyes. What struck me most was how OLD the beloved 'L' was. Now, I took the L almost everyday of my city life in Chicago, so I say this with the deepest sincerity.
For those that aren't familiar, the 'L' refers to the train or rapid transport system as it is defined by Wikipedia, that takes Chicagoans around the city by public transport. However, after riding Copenhagen's S trains and Metro, rapid it is not.

In worst possible conditions Copenhagen public transporters have to wait 20 minutes at the most. Normally an S train comes every 7-12 minutes and there are signs which tell you how long you have to wait. The Metro is even faster. In my new neighborhood where I have access to both, I have never waited more than 5 minutes for a train and can make it into the center of the city in less than 10.

To add insult to injury, the trains are also clean and quiet. There are garbage bags that people actually use to put their trash in. Conversation is kept to a minumum and there are also 'silent zones' to guarantee peace and quiet during your commute.

Chicago has a new Transit Authority president that was leading the charge of the much needed renovations before I left, but finding the funds for a society built on cars and gasoline may be his biggest challenge.

Human Nature

More than just a magnificent Michael Jackson song, human nature versus nuture is an age old debate that really hit home after my last visit to the US to meet my 6 week old nephew.

This little man was born with personality, preferences, and physical traits of both parents. I clearly witnessed the fact that he liked to be held just a little bit longer after he wakes versus after he eats and likes to be bounced when he's tired, not to mention given attention when he's put down. He's a cuddler and attention seeker. One could say he also got that from his parents.

However, what really hit home hard was the fact that his nurturing was going to have to be cut short due to the shotty maternity benefits in the US and that infuriated me. In 6 short weeks he will be put in a daycare center where hopefully the care providers have enough time to take care of his needs, but most likely he will just have to adapt to their schedule and availability.

Right now he is at home in his safe little environment being nurtured and although there are arguments on either side for what is better for the social skills and discipline of the child, there is no argument in my mind that Denmark's policy that a child should be with his mother for the first 6 months of his life is the most humane one.